When An Abuser Controls the Story
Abusers will often “get in front of a story” and lie about what happened in order to protect themselves from getting in trouble, gain favor among family and friends, or simply make a survivor look bad. Whatever the reason, it’s all about control.
“Controlling the narrative is another way of isolating someone—to portray them… Read More >>>
How to Recognize Emotional Abuse
It’s a common and damaging myth—without bruises, cuts, broken bones, bandages or a black eye, it’s not really abuse. Yet being controlled, feeling scared or being forcefully isolated are just some of the markers of emotional abuse, a very real and prevalent type of intimate partner violence.
Emotional abusers prey on a victim’s self-esteem and emotional abuse is often a precursor… Read More >>>
When Survivors Believe They’re Responsible for Ending Abuse
One way abusers control domestic violence survivors is by convincing them they’re responsible for their own abuse. When survivors come to believe that the abuse is their fault, they may also start to think they have something called “omnipotent power,” or the ability to control everything and make everything OK, as long as they do everything right. Read More>>
Signals for Safety
A creative plan from the UK designed to help people escape potentially dangerous dates is catching on globally. Hayley Child, reducing offending strategy coordinator with the Lincolnshire County Council, says she was seeing police reports where people who connected on dating websites and then met in person were victims of sexual violence. Statistics back up her observations—the UK’s National Crime Agency reported a 600 percent increase in sexual offenses linked to online dating from 2009 to 2014. Read More>>
Should You Stage an Intervention?
The popular TV show Intervention makes the process of interceding in an addict’s life look deceivingly simple. The person doesn’t want to get clean at first and fights against the concerns of those who love them, but with enough people surrounding them in their living room, reading agonizing letters of their worries for the person’s well-being, the addict ultimately succumbs to climbing into an awaiting car and driving off to rehab. Friends and family breathe deep sighs of relief that their loved one is on their way to a healthier life and that imminent danger has passed. Read More>>
Gaslighting: Could You Be Missing the Signs?
If you simply feel like you can’t trust your own instincts anymore—and you don’t have a history of questioning yourself or your ability to judge people or events in the past—this could be a sign that an abusive partner’s tactics have begun to work. Read More>>
Is it possible to spot an abusive partner before you get involved?
No one ever plans to venture out into the dating world and choose an abusive partner. No one goes on a blind date hoping for red flags that signal this new romantic partner is potentially controlling, obsessively jealous or has a penchant for violence. And yet, statistics show that 1 out of every 3 women, and 1 out of every 4 men will experience a violent partner at some point in their life. Read More>>
How Abusers Speak
We all know what sticks and stones can do, but the second part of that saying isn’t exactly true. Words do hurt. Some survivors have told us, in fact, words can hurt just as much or more than physical abuse. A survey on DomesticShelters.org showed 62 percent of survivors said verbal abuse felt more damaging than physical violence. Unlike a bruise or broken bone that eventually heals, degrading comments can reverberate inside a person’s conscience for a lifetime. Read More>>
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